Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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