my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
