cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize