Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My feet surprised me
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