I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
operation have a gay friend backfired
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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