Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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