6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
