is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
