i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize