Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
