also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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