I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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