This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
