This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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