Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
