Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
