That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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