Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize