i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
