2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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