butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up