Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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  (607): Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom. (1-607): I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts. http://tfl.nu/s0vw
  Replies (15) Good night (2494) Bad night (1342)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess

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  (651): Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess http://tfl.nu/7tw6
  Replies (6) Good night (964) Bad night (2267)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk

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  (301): please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk http://tfl.nu/n0hn
  Replies (27) Good night (4252) Bad night (1575)
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  (559): View more from California

  Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.

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  (559): Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND. http://tfl.nu/ouew
  Replies (9) Good night (2449) Bad night (1199)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

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  (317): We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt http://tfl.nu/hqwl
  Replies (12) Good night (3302) Bad night (943)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.

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  (908): but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before. http://tfl.nu/ra7g
  Replies (20) Good night (5236) Bad night (1061)
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  (916): View more from California

  But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.

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  (916): But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening. http://tfl.nu/sf5x
  Replies (2) Good night (1087) Bad night (1597)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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  (864): She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar. http://tfl.nu/4bhx
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (1294)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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  (231): A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners. http://tfl.nu/ba89
  Replies (11) Good night (2427) Bad night (628)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?

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  (309): Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety? http://tfl.nu/ikg5
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (430)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?

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  (704): I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class? http://tfl.nu/l30v
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (381)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....

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  (586): So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up.... http://tfl.nu/j4oi
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (336)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.

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  (440): When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone. http://tfl.nu/fw5h
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (249)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?

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  (270): My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/2qhw
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015

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  (717): Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015 http://tfl.nu/6v35
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (227)

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