It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
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Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
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Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"