I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy