would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE