It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.