i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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