How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
