weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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