OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
