Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize