I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
