I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
