ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
