He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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