the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize