I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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