I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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