Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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