Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
