is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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