I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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