We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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