Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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