no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize