The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize