You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
