There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So much Jack, so little girl.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize