I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
