You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours