In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.