U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
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smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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