She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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