i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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