her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
