I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
