im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
