you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
