I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i drank out of a bidet.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
