is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
