Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
