her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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