we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
