New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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